Gothic Responses... Muah ha ha...

First foremost, I give the author credit for "putting himself out there" to be judged. Even if this paper was absolute garbage, I would still have to praise him for at least trying to write something creative. Tonight, I was dragged (against my will) to go see 30 Days of Night, starring hunky Josh Hartnett. On the ride home, as I thought about how bad the movie was, I realized that whoever wrote it probably started out just like our author (whom I believe we are calling Jeremy). Well, let me say this: if the writer of 30 Days of Night could sell a story about vampires in Alaska to Hollywood, there's hope for our young lad!

I really liked the way that Jeremy incorporated the local/old Sunny Land Hospital into the story, giving it a "little touch of hometown flair." This is something, when if properly-developed, that is used by many writers when they go to research areas where their story takes place.

Aside from the (many) grammatical errors, Jeremy does a good job of telling a story. He even begins to show elements of character development when he writes "The oldest of the three, a 14 year old boy named David..." Though his dialog could use a lot of work, I felt like I knew who his characters were throughout the entire story.