That title's a little harsh, I know, I was just trying to be funny. But seriously, I wasn't that impressed knowing he was an 11th grader. Obviously, I wouldn't approach my student with that blunt of a reaction, but of course, in a more subtle sense.
The plot of this story has potential but, to be honest, it was a bit confusing. He was constantly refering to his characters as him, her, and in the end, he started refering to the main character, Jeremy, as himself. That's where I really got lost. As 11th grader, I think his writing should be a little more organized. His vocabulary was also basic and some words were used out of context. Since this is an anonomous writing I obviously don't know if this kid is an above average, average, or below average student, which I think would effect my response apptoach.
His story has potential and with a little work and guidance I think he could have a good, little story. You can tell he is very creative and imaginative and that's not always easy to come by. I think at this point it's just a matter of helping him organize his thoughts, stressingthe importance of proof reading, and bulking up the plot to create suspense and intensity that I think belongs in a gothic story.
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